Ashley and Henry

Please describe your caregiver circumstances. 

 

I am 30 years old. I am married to my husband Juan who is a huge help. We have 2 daughters, Esperanza age 9 and Victoria age 5. We also have 2 dogs and 2 cats.

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When was your loved one diagnosed? 

 

My father was diagnosed in 2010.

 

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How long have you been a caregiver and how did you end up taking on this role?

 

I have been caregiver for my parents since 2006. My parents both had strokes at same time and my mother unfortunately passed away. My father recovered but was then diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and severe depression.  It took almost a year for him to come back from it. Once my mom passed away, my husband and I moved into his house to take care of him permanently.  We knew if we had him stay at a home or hospital long term that he would give up and pass away. So we decided to take him in ourselves and also noticed how much it helped him improve.  

 

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What has been most helpful to you during this time and how?

 

It is a struggle with having a family member with this disease. You never know what to expect when they wake up in the morning. You ask yourself every day, is he going to have a good day or a bad day? I was very thankful and a huge burden taken off my back when the VA assisted us on getting him into Friends Place Daycare. Since he has been going he is no longer trying to take off or wonder off from the house.  Which this use to scare me so much, of him getting lost or getting hit by a car. He is also becoming more social and active.

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What has been the most challenging part of being a caregiver? 

 

I am virtually “on-call” 24/7.  My focus is constantly on his needs (personal, physical, medical).  The disease has progressed to the point that he can no longer communicate what he is thinking or feeling, leaving me to guess his well-being.   He can no longer take care of his personal needs.  He was always so meticulous in his grooming.  “Am I doing for him what he would do for himself?”

 

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Imagine that you've just met a person who's loved one just received their diagnosis yesterday. They are at Day 1 of this journey. What advice would you give them?

 

All I can say is, to take day by day and enjoy every day you can. You never know what to expect on the following day. When you’re having a tough day talk to someone or ask for help. Don’t forget to take some time for yourself. You get so caught up with taking care of everyone that we forget to take time for ourselves which can cause us to have depression or anxiety.

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Is there anything else you would like to share?

 

It is not an easy job being a caregiver, but I want my dad to be happy and enjoy the remaining time he has with us.