Who did you care for and for how long?

I was caregiver for both my mother and father for ten years up until this summer when both died within 2 months of each other.

 

What was their illness?

My mother had Alzheimer’s and we diagnosed that about seven or eight years ago. She started declining and I knew because I’m a psychologist but I couldn’t convince others that there was a problem. The formal diagnosis was probably made about eight years ago, but at least two or three years before that she started declining.  My father had dementia. My mother was 90 at death, my father was 93 and they had been married 67 years.

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What were the biggest challenges you faced as a caregiver?

Seeing them change. The greatest challenge was realizing that those were not the same parents I knew as a child. To see the changes in terms of just the mental status and the cognitive status was hard.

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What advice would you give to a new caregiver or someone just starting this journey?

I would say to them, love your loved ones as much as you can before the journey starts. Understand that it’s a season in their life and it’s only an event, it’s only a season. That’s not their entire life. You have to remember all the things that came before that. Don't get hung up on just that portion of their life.

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