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How long have you been married? How did you meet?

 

This is a second marriage for us.  We have been married for 27 1/2 years.  We met at church. We have seven children between us, all grown and some with grandchildren themselves.  I am 77 years old, Floyd is 80.  We live together in a small home. 

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When was your loved one diagnosed? 

 

Floyd was diagnosed April 13, 2015.

 

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How long have you been a caregiver?

 

I have been his caregiver from the beginning.  His neurologist said this began years ago.  I took this role because I want Floyd at home with me as long as possible.   He is thoughtful and kind, no aggressiveness or violent behavior.  So far It has been easy for me to help him with tasks.  It works for both of us.

 

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What has been most helpful to you during this time and how?

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The first time I went to a support  group the only thing I really remembered is a phrase the speaker used.  I cannot remember her name but she said and I quote, *They cannot go into your world.  You have to go into theirs.  All mistakes or misunderstandings are your fault*.  If  you can learn to use this as a communication tool, it will keep things happy.  So true! 

 

The very best help has come Friends Place.  I cannot say enough about that place.  The people, the programs, the staff who are so very well trained and committed are kind and loving along with being smart, talented and diligent.  I  love Friends Place and Floyd has decided he wants to go five days a week.  We are also fortunate to have children who help with doctor's appointments and anything we feel like we need help with.

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What has been the most challenging part of being a caregiver? 

 

I struggle with his inability to express his wants, the needs are obvious.  He is still very social, but it is difficult for me to go some  places with him.   He does better with small groups, crowds confuse him.  He also has  a hearing deficit and it seems to be getting worse.  Communication is almost impossible at times. 

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Imagine that you've just met a person who's loved one just received their diagnosis yesterday. They are at Day 1 of this journey. What advice would you give them?

 

See a neurologist, medication does help, or at least it has helped my husband.  If a place like Friends Place, is available, by all means try it.  Let people help when they offer.  At least find someone you can talk to.

 

 

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Is there anything else you would like to share?

 

I still feel like it is my privilege to have Floyd with me.  He will be as long as its safe for us.